Monthly Archives: April 2014


“I love everything about the world: how this life goes, GOOD & WRONG… I believe in things that you may nOt understand, I may cry but am nOt afraid!!!”
― Ashley M. Fierro

1.I believe that each one of us has a story ~ all of us are made up of blocks and blocks of words. We are our past experiences, our mistakes, our attempts to rise, over and over. I believe that our stories are forces that push us forward even when everything crumbles around us. I believe in telling my stories and refusing to be silenced. Because when everything else fades and we perish…the only thing that remains is our stories…the ones we told, the ones people will tell about us, and the ones that we were too scared to reveal. We are fragments of words, pieced together by our existence

2 I believe in the God of restoration. The God who is able to pick our ruins and help us build something beautiful. I believe in the God of love, He who is able to listen to even the deepest of our soulful cries. I believe in the God of healing…He who nurses broken hearts, He who heals diseases, He who fondles over the tearful hearts of the bereaved and make them whole.

3.I believe in hearty laughter. Of finding light in darkness and seeing cracks of humor where it hides. I believe in light talk, in being teased and teasing. I believe in light talk, in being teased and teasing. I believe that lingering laughter is the best gift you can give to someone you love



4.I believe that pain is for purpose. That every single tear we shed, is an ultimate lesson. Every painful experience, makes us appreciate life better….every painful toil is for us to find a radiant place someday. Every pain is a lesson. Even if only that someday we will be able to hold down someone who is going through what we went through and tell them: “You know, I have been there, and I have to tell you, the sun will come out somehow.”

5.I believe that writing is therapy. Taking out a blank piece of paper and pouring your soul is the best form of release. I cherish it.

6.I believe in learning to choose your battles and acknowledging that some battles are beneath you is not a sign of weakness but great strength. I believe in knowing what matters and what doesn’t, and drawing the line without forgetting. I believe in identifying that which is important in your life, and ignoring the ones that are not. Life is too brief and sweet to chase things that don’t matter



7.I believe that family is the backbone of my success.

8.I believe in resurrections. Not so much of the body but of the soul. I believe that a dead dream can come to life, I believe that a cold dead heart can be healed and nursed to life. I believe that a mourning person can slowly resurrect and see the beauty of life. I believe. 

9.I believe that words are mighty and they cut like a sharp sword. I believe in watching what I tell the people I care about. I believe in the immortality of the spoken and written word. I believe that friendships and relationships can be shattered by the utterance of the wrong phrase. I believe in thinking through my words, and even though sometimes I fail, I still believe that words are lethal. 

10.I believe in friendship that tumbles over the barriers of time and distance and stays true for years till death.



11.I believe that abuse is not restricted to being beaten ~ I believe that making someone feel inferior, making someone feel worthless, deliberately degrading someone, and making them question their worth ~ that is abuse.

12.I believe that every single person we experience in our lives, whether good or bad…they are a cause in our existence. There is no coincident. There is no accident. Every single person you know in your life, is there for a reason. You just need to look through it.

13.I believe that no matter how hopeless and dark the situation in life is….somehow, the sun still comes out. You may be buried in stress to see it, but it still cracks through and penetrates the deep darkness.

14. I believe in doing good for my own. Doing bad for my own too. 


15. I believe that life has no ending. Just constant new beginnings~because I am a believer.






Categories: LIVE! love! continue.... | 2 Comments


For Claris….
Never forgotten.
Still…we are still!


It has been days…it has been months….a year gone.


It has been people who loved you embracing new realities. It has been days and days of trying….

To move on….

It has been a moment of you here, and then you are GONE.

One time eyelids open…the next, shut to eternity.

Sometimes, it feels like a millisecond…you laughing, updating your facebook, status you living, you loving….and then the silence.


You still linger in our thoughts, fragments of you remained here with us….your smile, your voice, your children….and then the scary reality.
You are gone….!

I still remember calling your sister the day that you died. I still remember the ocean of tears, and the deep darkness that engulfed me….i still remember how your demise slapped me with the reality of my own mortality.

We still think of you…often than we care to admit. We still think of your boys…the kids you left behind. We still remember your loved ones weeping, reality sinking, sorrow dawning….

Today we are here…..and then tomorrow, like a candle put out, you are GONE.

Sometimes I close my eyes and think about what you would have become…sometimes I wonder if you are able to look down here and see your sons’ future breaking into a million uncertainties; in your absence.


I wonder if you have met God….and if it is true that angels welcome people when their souls exit this earth…..i wonder….Claris, if God rewarded you for all those painful days you held on in that hospital bed. All those painful surgeries. All those days when your heart held on…fragment by fragment….one painful second after another.

A flower plucked ~ unbuded.

The physical pain you went through…the tears….the surgeries….I hope the angels received you with a hug! And acknowledged that you are a real fighter.



I wonder if you cried when you met the one who sits above….and asked Him why our immortality above is pegged on our own fragile mortality down here.

I wonder if you look down and smile…at the milestones you covered when you were here….I wonder if you count days since you left, like we do down here.  I wonder if you look down on your children and blow maternal love on them everyday that they wake.

Just your body.

Never your SOUL….NEVER!
Just your body gone….but NOT the SOUL….you are eternally present.

We screamed and prayed from the deepest place within us….a bottomless core that we didn’t know existed.
We fell on our knees….
We surrendered.
We sought God….
We still do…
And He showed His face….
And showed us who He is….

Clarita….He is who He says He is….

Haiyaye….mami…Just your body. Not your soul.
Always remembered. ….Rockabye Nyar’kendu.

It shall be well down here….It shall be well.
The world spins madly on….


I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you’d gone
and let the world spin madly on………
………I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I’m standing still…………………………



Categories: LIVE! love! continue.... | 9 Comments


  Hey, you Christians who judge, you who have appointed yourselves high places and you stand and look down on others who you feel are sinners…you feel you are too great for those who are not ‘born again’.
You sneer, you shake your head, you click when they speak;  when they ‘sin’, when they cry…when they bare yourselves to you, you don the attire of self righteousness and tell them off —

let me ask you…………………….

Which God do you serve?



To you who talk on and on about other people’s life choices, behind their backs, to those  who care to listen. 

You shred their reputation, their names…you point out their sins, you laugh, you even conclude that they are cursed because maybe they don’t pray enough. You have bitter judgment and the audacity to shun —

Yeah, you feel like you are the ones who have internalized God and everyone else is lesser……


Have you met God?



Yes, you carry yourself in a proud manner. In church, you want everyone to see you….

How you dress; how you strut to the altar to talk about your ‘god’, you look down upon others who you feel haven’t been blessed like you…and in suggestive language, you imply that they are lesser than you. You bite them with your fangs of self righteousness. You struggle to separate yourself from many people, because you feel like they will contaminated your faith……..


….well, you are polluting God!



Oh, and that barrier and wall that you create between yourself and the people you feel are not good enough. You label them with your stereotypes….they don’t attend church as frequently as you do, so they will not go to heaven like you…they don’t go to the church that you attend, so they probably are in the wrong place….your church is the best, you are the ones who will be in the front linee at the gates of heaven. No need to give audience to someone who goes to another church. No. your church is the one. Perfection. Puuuh! 


…….You do not seek God…
you are after your own selfishness………






If your religion pushes you to force your definitions and opinions into others without knowing when to stop, if it makes you resent those who refuse to be swayed by your line of thought. If you become volatile and angry when someone disagrees with you along religious thoughts….and any discussion about God always leaves you with intense anger, then you should review which God you are holding with value.





And those who continually talk about the Lord of provision. The Lord who Gives…who gives and gives. Material wealth…, cars, good cars, good houses, money. You fall on your knees, and chant the novena….to the Lord who GIVES. All you need from God is stuff that He should be giving. You cry when you lack material things and yell Kumbaya asking God to descend and give you….yet you continually omit the Grace and Love that God has surrounded you with. You ignore the gift of life, of parenthood, of inner peace, of laughter, of joy that He has given you in abundance. You shift all your focus on the things that you lack…..

…………You hurt God




Yeah, and those who shake and shout in rage at the sins of others…those who point out what others are doing….ahhh, my friend ye you neglect your own! You constantly talk about God’s truth…you have mastered the rules, the Bible from Genesis to revelation…you quote bible verses and somehow you become a small god, by always telling people what they should do…..yet you forget that you are also as mortal as they. You are no better than a ‘kafiri’


You exclude and wish that those who struggle with their choices be eliminated from the face of the earth. You condemn openly people who have made what you consider wrong choices in life, to you, Christianity should just be presented with bitterness and you scare fragile souls with a message of gnashed teeth, and you forget oh so cleverly to mention the God of second chances…..



………………… portray your faith with so much lies and hypocrisy. It stinks to high heavens. Fuuuuh!

You who refuse to respect and honor the religion of another…

You who define God in your own biased perception and try to force your god upon others….

You who sing ad nauseam about the ways of the Lord, yet you walk a different lane….

What you try to do is to kill God.
You kill God.

You murderer of the most High!



 ( For  Ronny who has continually opened my perspective to things that we once elusive to me)




Categories: LIVE! love! continue.... | 3 Comments

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