Monthly Archives: October 2013

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE

  1. What most people think of your relationship  doesn’t matter much

Granted, there will be people who think that they know your relationship better than you do, and they will try to give you their opinions on how the show should run for you. I know this because it has happened to me, and it reaches a point when their opinions and advise start to infiltrate what you have going, and you begin to feel like you need to walk into the lane that they are directing you into. But what I came to learn is that what you need to do is follow your heart, but do not let it destroy your thinking and rationality. When you are fully aware of what you want in a relationship, you wouldn’t care less of what others think of it.

 

2.Love yourself:

of course we have all heard it before:  the most difficult thing to do is trying to love someone who doesn’t love themselves. It is very difficult to get value in a relationship if you do not know your worth. Sometimes, we put very little on us, that we stay on into a relationship that brings out the toxin in us, not because we cannot leave, but because we think that we will get more when we stay, because we are corrupted in mind to believe that we are the ones who are not getting it right, or we are scared of the uncertainty that lies beyond walking out towards a new liberation. Trust me, you have to learn how to love yourself, and share the love with someone instead of having a void, and hoping that there is someone out there who will spring up and fill it for you.

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Be open:

What I know is that well there might be the thrill of playing hard to get, of being mysterious and all, but a time comes when you have to cut the games and be honest with each other. State from the start what you want in the relationship, point out when you feel like you are being wronged, apologize when you need to be forgiven, forgive and learn to let go if you want to proceed, but for heavens’ sake, don’t play games in the hope that your significant other will figure you out. There is no time for that!

Accept that some people were meant to walk into your life, make a footprint and leave.

Do not try desperately to hold onto the frays of a broken love. Do not lose your entire self trying to fix what has already broken into many pieces. Sometimes love means forgetting, yes! Its true…sometimes you have to appreciate what you had, sieve through the good moments and look forward to what is coming, but do not dwell on the past; wallowing in self pity and wishing for the world to end. No! you have to get moving.

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Forgiveness makes the load lighter

. It takes a lot of courage and self knowledge to forgive and let go. And forgiveness does not mean that you condone what the other person did; neither does it mean that you a coward who is easily pushed over. Sometimes forgiveness is the only way to get peace and it is an opening towards knowing if you will continue with the relationship or you are moving on.

Love is not supposed to hurt

Of course there is no perfection and there is no love that can be flawless….agreed. On the other hand, love is not supposed to be a series of hurts and tears. No, love is not supposed to be violent, it is not supposed to make us miserable, it is not supposed to hurt all the tie. Love is not supposed to rob us of our self esteem and leave us feeling low every time; that is oppression. Love is supposed to lift us and make us feel good most of the time.

 

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WHAT TURNS ME ON!

Let me ask you , do you have something that turns you on? Something that just send the heat from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes?  Do you have something that causes your whole body to spin and sweat, like you are in a form of daze or something?
Relax, I am not talking about sex (Although I know that you wish I was)

What I am talking about is a deep rush, the indescribable feeling you get when you bump upon something that blows you (No pun) and you get the “aha!” feeling. A great awakening should I say.

Something that makes you breath…

Inhale. Exhale. Deeper.

As if you have just been punched in the face.

turn on

It could be a phrase, a meme, a random quote from the most unexpected people. Or it could be a song that you feel was written just for you….or a vision of light penetrating darkness, that you look at it and think of the beauty of the universe. It could be a breath taking photo…a story of liberation, of how someone rose from ruins…it could be your own story, of reaching out and whispering God’s name after many days of silence and confusion.

It could be anything…the birth of your baby and the feeling that came after it and washed over you, changing you immediately. It could be the day that you finally said that with all the strength that you have, you are going to get over someone you once loved…
I mean, think about it, what are the things that actually turn you on?

What makes your mind wild?

Think, smile, and share. What is it that drives you insane? what awakens you? What do you love? What inspires you? Who? What is that philosophy you live by?

For me, these are the things that make my hair stand on end…

  1. Oliver Mtukudzi. Again, I will say that from a very young age, my father showed us what good music should sound like. And Oliver Mtukudzi was introduced to me when I was still a young girl, and well, that man has stuck with me. Whenever I listen to his mellow voice, his smooth silky tones and oh my! The guitar….yikes, I get lost, completely. The way he holds that instrument, as if he wants to make love to it, and the way he sometimes closes his eyes as he belts out the tunes, so softly, so seductively, so invitingly…to tell you the truth,  sometimes when I listen to him, I feel an electric charge going through my body. Whoaaah! Oliver, you do me bad!

tuku

2. Women who are fighting to live, to love and  to continue….women who have died while believing in what they love, women who have shaken this world, whose names are being spoken long after they are gone…When I read through 65 Red Roses  my mind was blown to kingdom come. This was a woman fighting cystic fibrosis  and she continued writing even when her whole body was weak and she couldn’t move much. This is a woman who didn’t quit, until the last breath knocked her off. She inspires me because somehow, through life and death, she has taught me that nothing should ever come between someone who is determined to do what they love…only death should stop us.

Heeeey, that is my new philosophy. I am going to do what I love, I am going to keep moving, I am going to BE, and only death will stop me.

eva

3 .Chinua Achebe turns me on with his literary prowess. Aha! That man knew how to choose words, and his whenever I read his books, I am transported to a deeper place. His words saturate me and fill me with thrill. Ahhh, he shouldn’t have died, he should have continued writing…on and on…Good thing is that he has left his words immortalized in paper…and I read him over and over. I cannot get over how he ended  his book a man of the people, I still read, scratch my head and smile…

I say, you died a good death if your life had inspired someone to come forward and shoot your murderer in the chest without asking to be paid. ~ Chiunua Achebe, A man of the people.

Haiya!

4. Writing. Yes, there is something about taking out a pen and a blank paper and scribbling out the vowels, he alphabets, the metaphors and experiences of what makes you whole. For me, writing is more than a job, it is a therapy where I get inside myself and scribble out all that can ooze from my pores. My sister tells me that she always know how serious I am by the sound of  my computer’s keys. Sometimes I get carried away, I tap from the first word to my last period. I just write and write, in my blood, in my being, in everything that makes me who I am.
It turns me on…transforming useless alphabets into something meaningful. It builds me, it raises me, and sincely, I think writing resurrected me. If it wasnt for words, if it wasnt for writing, I would have perished. Because I have walked down a dark valley, so dark, that the only thing that kept me moving was writing.

writing

5. I know I am not alone in this, food really turns me on! Kabisa! I love my food well done, I am particiular on the spices that go in my food, I am very keen on how it cooks. For me, cooking is not just something I do, it is an art am trying to perfect. I am always looking for something new, something unique that will tingle my taste bud. When I cook, I love devouring the taste of the finished product, I love when I enter my house and the smell of what I cooked the previous day still hangs deliciously on the air. I looove cooking, I loove eating, and I love treating the people that I love with food. Yes, I know I am not Nigella yet, but am working on it 😉

Food does me!

food

6. Beautiful, uplifting quotes.
There are some quotes that just lift me and speak directly to my soul. You know, quotes that just shake you by how true and inspiring they are. Yes, such quotes turn me on, and I try all I can to share them whenever I bump into them. One such quote is this one here:

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7. There is a video that I bumped upon, and it opened my eyes. Rick Warren talks about the things that SHAPE us.
So staggeringly true and beautiful, i listened to it over and over! Wow!!! just wow!!!!!
I am soooo turned on 🙂

stor Rick Warren says there are five things that SHAPE a person: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Ability, Personality and Experiences. Find out why he believes God never wastes a hurt.
Oh yes!!!!

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