Journalist Nora Eprhon died on 26th of June in 2012. She was one of those great awesome writers that I so desperately wanted to be like when I grow up, and her articles were always so thought provocative that I felt so empty when she died.
In the last book that she did, Nora listed out the stuff that she would miss and what she wouldn’t miss when she goes to the world on the other side. She sat down and wrote about the things that she will miss when she dies, and the things that she wont miss when she is gone. I read it and then over and over, I thought about my own life and the things that I will miss, and those that I wont.
THINGS THAT I SHALL SO MISS:
- My books. I will miss my thousands of books across all genres, I shall miss Elizabeth Berg, I shall miss wahome Mutahi and his witty words, I will miss the words of my bible, I will miss Maya Angeleou and her beautiful sultry voice, and I shall miss the uncensored journals of Sylvia Plath, and I will miss my own words that I have entered in so many journals that are spread across my book shelf.2. I will miss the voice of Oliver Mtukudtzi and how it drips bits by bits to form one whole string of perfection. I shall miss him strumming his guitar with his eyes closed. I shall miss the hundreds of songs that my friend Richie compiled for me. I will miss Oliver holding his guitar like a lover and strumming those strings like a form of seduction. I will miss the moments that I just closed my eyes as if taking communion, and I will miss him singing RAKI to a live audience, so carelessly, yet so magnificently, my feet just curl.
3.I will miss making love to my mister. I will miss how he hold me and passes his fingers across my naked body. I will miss how he whispers beautiful things to me, I will miss how he removes the studs from my ears, and how he then proceeds to lay me down. I will miss those indescribable moments of union, of love, of divinity, and soaring to a plateau that lies beyond the darkness of the night. I will miss rain drops lashing on our bedroom window. I will miss him.
4.I will miss my girlfriends and how they make me howl till my stomach hurts. I will miss the bonds that I have created and the ones that slipped away. I will miss the many times we talked till sunrise, and the way we ate everything we could put our hands on. I will miss my girlfriends who ensured that I got comfort at anytime that I needed. I will miss my friends, akina Pauline who have been with me from Primary school, ahhh, we should have been immortalized in childhood, we grew up so fast. I will miss every single friend who has made me laugh, grow, think, and embrace the self.
5.I will miss the more than 1000 letters, cards, emails, texts and notes, facebook posts, and hilarious naughty stuff Simon has written for me over the years. Le sigh.
6.I will miss the taste of hot coffee on my tongue.
7.I will miss some of my facebook friends and their craziness and the laughter they bring into my life.
8.I will miss my siblings and the beautiful team that we make. I will miss the way they take respective positions in times of crisis. I will miss how they team up and form a wall that no outsider can penetrate. I will miss the past memories that we created, of how we sang KUMBAYAH on cold dark nights and called on the Lord together. I will miss the tears that fell in the safety of that darkness, I will miss how sometimes we would keep quiet and hold hands, and reinforce our silent pledges like girl guide: “Together forever…” I will miss how we have always called on one another in our hours of need. I will miss the loooong drive to redemption that we took on the 31st of this year, and the heavy lessons that hung loose on the air as we took that drive. I will miss the four most beautiful fruits of the womb of my mother.
9.I will miss my pens and pencils. I will miss my tools of trade, in their many shapes, in their many colors, in their many functions. I will miss biting hard on the tips of these pens till they break when I can’t find the right words to write down. I will miss the beautiful feeling when the nib of the pens clash upon plain paper, I will miss the creation of my pens.
10.I will miss my mama. People say we have the same voice, when we were kids, I would talk outside and my little sisters would peep to see if it was my mama coming back home. I will miss how my mama spoils us, how she takes us to church, and then right there at the gate, she asks us: “Mtakula ice…” and we are goddam grown ups, but heck, to my mama, we are just little kids who need to be treated with such like snacks. Regardless of the fact that her youngest are 20 years old, my mama, she still moves next to me and feels my temperature with her palm like she did when we were kids. She still stirs our tea and hands it to us. I will miss her, so terribly, and I am sure she will miss me too if I went today.
11.I will miss the beautiful feeling of starting over, whilst am aware that death is the most ultimate way to start over (If you believe in the life after) but one thing that I will miss from down here is the beautiful feeling of moving towards new things. Birth, marriage, crossovers, and formation of new friends. I will miss it all
12.I will miss laughter. The small things that just tickle me to the ground. I will miss teasing people, I will miss being teased, I will miss remembering random stuff that thrill me and laughing like a mad person, alone in the streets. I will miss wild stories that I have heard, seen, experienced, watched on TV. I will miss FRIENDS, the comedy, I will miss Phoebe, Chandler, Rachel and that entire crew. I will miss watching reruns of Friends while my mister hold me. I will miss the bliss of Gilmore girls. Ahhhh, I will miss the beautiful scriptings of Friends.
13.I will miss my most awesome crew. I will miss my pervasive sound guy who makes everything to be about sex, but still, he is the keenest when it comes to sound, and his equipment is topnotch. I will miss my videographer, yaaaay, that guy, he does the best videos, he does! He captures every emotion of picture. If I ran his images, his video on a timeline without sound, you would still get the story. And he captures the most hidden details of a story. He is brave too. He has done stories in Tana, Somalia, Darfur, Post elections violence, and the free masons of Congo. This man, I will miss him, and how he conceptualizes his videos. Wow!
14.I will miss one teeny tiny girl who follows me almost everywhere I go. I will miss her beautiful smile. I will miss a lot of things….
Until then, i LIVE!